The Maddening Silence
And so I'm back in SG! Sitting on this sand-coloured couch. Yet again.
Got BFM radio streaming in through my laptop. I have to have some background sound. The quietness is driving me nuts! I dreaded coming back here. Just knowing that I'd be alone and have to face the quietness. And of course, that it's Sg. Routine Sg.
Baahhh... All I've had the past few days is quietness, pretty much! P left for the UK last monday. It's been a week. Out of which, four days I spent back in Penang, and the rest, I've been really ill. Down with high fever, a cough and the flu. Looks like the swine kind to me. (Although my Doctor says it's a 'borderline' case, whatever that means!) The virus was so resistant to the antibiotics my course had to be changed. So yes. It was a pretty miserable time for me. Me, the thermometer and the couch. And 3 cans of soup.
I guess I should be enjoying this now. This solitude. The calmness and living for myself. Not having to do anything, especially when I'd rather just relax. But really, having a whole week of staring at our sand-coloured couch is driving me mad! I'm even starting to have conversations with the fridge and its contents!
I think I form too great attachments to people and places. When I was back in Penang, I didn't want to leave. My wonderful room, the wonderful laidback life in the house, and my mom. It was so hard to leave. It's always hard to leave Penang. My island retreat. And now I'm reeling from P being gone. Just for a week. I miss preparing dinner for us for when he gets back from work! (Ask me this again though in 3 weeks). I guess I just miss his company. Just having him around as part of everyday life, and doing things together. OMG I fear long distance again!
Just feeling really lonely now. Just loneliness I guess. And it's only 2.5 days till I fly anyways. I can't wait! P's sister's wedding in the UK, followed by our time in Portugal. Am pretty much packed now (I was so excited I packed a whole week ago!), and the house has been cleaned and tidied. So it's just some small bits to sort out. I can deal with it. Just loneliness. And quietness. Only 2.5 days...
Got BFM radio streaming in through my laptop. I have to have some background sound. The quietness is driving me nuts! I dreaded coming back here. Just knowing that I'd be alone and have to face the quietness. And of course, that it's Sg. Routine Sg.
Baahhh... All I've had the past few days is quietness, pretty much! P left for the UK last monday. It's been a week. Out of which, four days I spent back in Penang, and the rest, I've been really ill. Down with high fever, a cough and the flu. Looks like the swine kind to me. (Although my Doctor says it's a 'borderline' case, whatever that means!) The virus was so resistant to the antibiotics my course had to be changed. So yes. It was a pretty miserable time for me. Me, the thermometer and the couch. And 3 cans of soup.
I guess I should be enjoying this now. This solitude. The calmness and living for myself. Not having to do anything, especially when I'd rather just relax. But really, having a whole week of staring at our sand-coloured couch is driving me mad! I'm even starting to have conversations with the fridge and its contents!
I think I form too great attachments to people and places. When I was back in Penang, I didn't want to leave. My wonderful room, the wonderful laidback life in the house, and my mom. It was so hard to leave. It's always hard to leave Penang. My island retreat. And now I'm reeling from P being gone. Just for a week. I miss preparing dinner for us for when he gets back from work! (Ask me this again though in 3 weeks). I guess I just miss his company. Just having him around as part of everyday life, and doing things together. OMG I fear long distance again!
Just feeling really lonely now. Just loneliness I guess. And it's only 2.5 days till I fly anyways. I can't wait! P's sister's wedding in the UK, followed by our time in Portugal. Am pretty much packed now (I was so excited I packed a whole week ago!), and the house has been cleaned and tidied. So it's just some small bits to sort out. I can deal with it. Just loneliness. And quietness. Only 2.5 days...
posted by shuey @ 21:23
2 Comments:
At 1:37 pm,
amycla said…
Hi sweetheart, I'm amazed this is still running! don't ask how i managed to stop here but i did so, nice updates! By the way, i have so sign in with my username just to post this comment.
At 1:37 pm,
amycla said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
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