approaching marks never reached before.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"

Where did you go?

Mixed feelings about this Thursday. Not sure what you are supposed to feel about landmarks in the year. What does it feel like to be 8 months into a job? 1 and a half years into a relationship? All so new. Yet not so. Need to feel something.

When Rain meets Cityscape.

I laughed in the rain today.

It's not that picture I know you've got in your head of a deranged woman laughing gap-toothed in the rain, shaking her fist at the skies each time it thundered.

It was more like a good laugh. A chuckle. Like a release. Funny how some rain and drenched clothes puts things in perspective. Nothing really mattered. A realization that there is more to life out there. I have allowed myself to be so consumed by this petty, materialistic, robot-work-ethic-with-no-room-for-mistakes rat race. I haven't paused to breathe. Or walk in the rain.

I have almost forgotten how to be carefree. And this little moment, choosing to take the long unsheltered route home, under cloudy thundery skies (I hate clouds by the way, clouds in open night skies especially), in the rain, cold and wet, just made me remember again what it's like to be laidback and silly. I think Singapore has zapped it out of me. Transforming me into one of the thousand faces who board MRTs like uptight zombies 5 days a week. Just to live for the weekend. SURVIVE, more like. Survival in the city.

It's really not me. I just want to sit with my toes dipping into clear moving water. Or run on the beach with my now-geriatric pug. Or just, walk in the rain. With a big grin on my face. Nothing else really matters.